I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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