Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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