My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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