I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You smell like stripper and shame
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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