i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
