let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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