When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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