member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
