He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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