I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
