By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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