there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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