I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize