He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
