my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
