You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
