Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
