There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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