does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
