i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I understand Curling. That high.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
