Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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