dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We need a shit load of segways right now
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize