I'm going to jail i love you
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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