I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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