so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
