My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
