Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
