That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
