Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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