Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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