her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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