she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
