you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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