if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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