Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
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He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
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I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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