Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
