4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Me. At least after what I've been through.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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