You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
