well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
