i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
