she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
