if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
