That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
