well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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