If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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