Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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