I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
love makes seman taste better
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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