My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I am available for nakedness
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
