i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's shark week go big or go home
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
