Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
