She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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