Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
