At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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