i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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