Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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