Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
