That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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