I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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