somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
