I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
