Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
