Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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