take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
