Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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