I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
