Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
not ubering you a puppy
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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