At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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