Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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