So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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