420 ftw
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
